Leaving You Behind
by magma
Summary: Winds of fate are blowing. . .Syaoran Li and Sakura Kinomoto shall soon face their destiny. . .Will they survive it?
1. Prologue: Winds of Fate

Leaving You Behind  
By Magma  
  
Author's notes: This is the first time I've ever written a CCS fic. I"m not sure it's a good fic or not. Please tell me your comments! I can promise you that at least the grammer will be correct and it'll be easy to read, not hard on the eyes. Please give it a chance!:  
  
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. I am just a lowly fanfiction writer that does not claim any rights to this manga and anime. All rights belong to CLAMP. Do not steal my story idea though. If you do. . . I will hunt you down. . .   
  
"Must I go?" asked Syaoran.  
  
"You must," answered a femnine voice. "The clan needs a leader, and certain issues need to be taken care of."  
  
Syaoran lowered his head from the phone. His bangs his his face in shadow. Unseen, a crystalline tear tracked its way down his cheek. "I understand," he replied, his voice devoid of any emotion.  
  
"Child. . ." The voice's tone softened a bit, "You must understand. You were only sent to Japan because of the Clow Cards. Now that this girl has appeared, the Card Mistress, you have failed. It is time for you to return."  
  
"Understood," Syaoran replied, another silent tear slipping past his defenses. "Zai Jian.[1]"  
  
Syaoran hung the phone back on the reciever, and slowly, ever so slowly, collapsed against the wall onto the floor. He raised his hand to wipe his tears. And then looked back at his hand. Was that a tear he saw?   
  
Am I crying? I was trained not to cry, for it not the way for future leaders of the Li clan to cry. Why am I crying? Is it because I must leave Japan? Is it because I do not want to face my mother? Or is it because of Sakura?  
  
He then remembered her. . .Her emerald eyes, sparkling with happiness. . . .Her auburn hair, shining in the sunlight. . . Her innocence. . . He remembered why he loved her. . .  
  
Syaoran lowered his head, shadows hiding his features. His love for Sakura, he believes, is unrequited. She'll never love somebody like me. . .  
  
~*~  
  
In the shadows of the night, a person cloaked in darkness looked upon the boy known as Syaoran Li in mirror made of shadows. Then, a lady all dressed in white and radiating light appeared. The shadows recoiled as if struck, and disappated.   
  
"Why must he face this trial? He has faced many before, proving his worth." whispered a ethereal voice from the shadowed person. Its voice was neither male nor female, but a combination of the two.  
  
"It will make him stronger. It will be painful to bear, but it shall make him stronger in the end. Besides, this a trial of heart, not physical abilities." replied the lady, her musical voice echoing thoughout the shadowed room.  
  
"So? It is agreed?" whispered the shadowed person.  
  
"It is agreed. The being known as Syaoran Li shall undergo the Ordeal of the Lang[2]. We shall see if he is worthy." responded the lady, tilting her head toward the image of the boy in the mirror. "He has passed all the other necessary tasks. This shall be his last test."  
  
To Be Continued. . .   
  
[1] - Zai Jian is Good Bye in Mandarin Chinese.  
[2] - Lang is Wolf in Mandarin Chinese.  
  
What do you think? It has potential? It sucks like crap? Please tell me. 


	2. Chapter One - Loneliness. . .

Leaving You Behind  
By Magma  
  
Author's notes: Well, if you didn't realize it in the first chapter, Syaoran has to return back to Hong Kong, but his feelings about it are a bit. . . strange. Well, enough chit-chat! I dedicate this to my pal Lava, who convinced me to write a CCS fic.:  
  
Disclaimer: See Prologue:  
  
Chapter One: Loneliness. . .  
  
"Weird. . ." thought Tomoyo as she looked at Syaoran Li. "Sakura," she said, glancing over at Syaoran one last time as if to check something, "Is it just me, or does Syaoran seem down about something?"  
  
Sakura looked up from her notebook, and turned to look over at him. He did seem downcast about something. Usually he appeared always serious, but today, his aura was. . . gray. His normally green aura was streaked with gray, and it radiated unhappiness.  
  
"I think you're right, Tomoyo. He does seem sad about something." replied Sakura. Why would he sad? He always kept his emotions hidden from her. Then it occured to her that perhaps he was so unhappy, he could not hide it, which was why his aura was so dominantly gray today.  
  
Just then, Sakura heard a beeping noise, coming from Syaoran's school bag. He opened up his school bag, and pulle out a cell phone. "Hello?" he said to the other person. Then his eyes widened a tiny bit. "Mother? What is it?" Syaoran heard crying in the background. "Mother?" he said again, a bit panicked.  
  
"Syaoran. . . Your father. . . I . . ." His mother started weeping once more. "Your father, Syaoran . . .He's dead. . . I'm so sorry. . ." His mother's voice broke on the 5 last words, as she started crying once more.  
  
The phone dropped from Syaoran's listless fingers and fell with a clatter onto the floor. His eyes were wide and unblinking. And then a silent tear fell from one of his hazel eyes and dropped onto his desk. Sakura wondered what had happened, to make him cry. Then she checked his aura. It was now completely gray, with streaks of black now. Then, the door opened, and Mr. Terada walked in.  
  
Syaoran raised his hand. "Yes?" asked Mr. Terada.  
  
"Sensei[1], may I be excused?" questioned Syaoran in a dull, listless voice.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"It's family emergency." Syaoran replied. "May I go?"  
  
Mr. Terada wondered what the emergency could possibly be, but let Syaoran go, knowing he wasn't the type to go and play pranks. "All right. Please let one of your parents call me to notify me of what happened."  
  
Syaoran's eyes glistened at the moment Mr. Terada said parents, and replied,"Arigato[2]." He then picked up his school bag, packed up his books, and walked out of the classroom, making no sound.  
  
Sakura wondered what had happened, but thought to ask Syaoran later.  
  
To Be Continued. . .  
  
[1] - Sensei is Teacher in Japanese.  
[2] - Arigato is Thank You in Japanese.  
  
I don't know if it sucks or not, or if I should write more. Please tell me your thoughts by reviewing or emailing me! Ja! ~ Magma 


	3. Chapter Two - . . .always hurts. . .

Leaving You Behind   
By Magma   
  
A/N: I don't know if this chapter is going to get good reviews or get flames. Hell, I don't really care. I just started this fic because Lava told me, and this fic is dedicated to her. Tell me if ya like it!:   
  
''= thoughts   
  
Disclaimer: See Prologue   
  
Chapter Two - . . .always hurts. . .   
  
Syaoran walked silently on the sidewalk. His head was hung low, and he didn't say a word. He just headed back to his house here in Tomoeda.   
  
"Master Syaoran?" inquired his retainer here in Japan. "Why are you here so early?"   
  
"Hmm?" Syaoran lifted his head up to gaze into the man's dark brown eyes. He had been thinking, but his retainer had startled him enough that he had forgotten what he had been thinking about. The old man looked into the Li Clan's future leader, and sighed in bitteriness. 'It's a miracle this young one hasn't collapsed from the burden he now carries. He is too young for this. . .He never had a childhood. . .'   
  
Suddenly, the phone rang in the house, and the old man went to pick it up. "Wei?[1] Ah. Mistress Han Feng[2]. What? I can't hear you. What?! Se le?[3]" The man is silent for a few moments. "I understand. Zai Jian[4]."   
  
"Master Syaoran, you shall need to pack up your things. We are leaving in 1 hour for Tomoeda Airport. You must go home for your father's funeral. You shall return after your father's funeral to Japan for one week, then depart for Hong Kong. You are now the leader of the Li Clan. I'm sorry your father is dead." The man said the last words sincerely, and quietly said, so quietly that Syaoran almost didn't catch it,"He was a good man. . . If only. . ."   
  
"I understand." replied Syaoran, his voice emotionless. He then walked up the stairs into his room, pulled out a suitcase, and started packing.   
  
He didn't have much is this room, most of his stuff was back in his room in Hong Kong, so he just started packing his clothes and essentials. In about 30 min, the room was now barren, but then again, it was almost barren when he had started. Only one thing was left unpacked. A photo on the top of his deck. Syaoran picked it up, looking into it.   
  
It was a small photo taken at school, one Tomoyo had let him have, saying that he should have a copy. Tomoyo had taken this picture only a week before this one. It was of Sakura and him, one of the two smiling. Tomoyo had taken it right after the two had been talking one day. Syaoran smiled at the thought, then packed the picture up with the rest of his belongings.   
  
A few hours later, Syaoran stood in Tomoeda Airport, looking upon the scenery silently. 'What have I done to deserve this? Has the world just decided to turn against me? I've done what I have been asked to do, and now this happens.' Syaoran looked outside the airport's windows, gazing at the distant stars. 'Have we fallen so far? Perhaps.'   
  
Suddenly, a glaring cheerful voice blasted from the overhead speakers. "Flight 304 now boarding for Hong Kong, China. Flight 304 now boarding for Hong Kong, China." Syaoran glared in annoyance at the speakers, lifted his handbag, and started walking to the boarding area. He gave his ticket to this flight attendent, who tore it in half, dropped part of it into a box of some sorts, and handed him back the other half. Syaoran took long strides toward his seat, even though he hated flying by plane. There was always a feeling of. . . unrealness when in a plane. Like humans were not meant to fly, and something would strike down any second. And the sounds of machinery, or unliving things just made Syaoran nauseous.   
  
When Syaoran found his seat, he saw that the person right next to his seat was an old woman. He didn't have anything against it, for he was raised to respect his elders, but she gave off an odd aura. There was something. . . off. . . about it. She turned her head to look right at him, gave him this stare that raised the hairs on the back of his neck, and said very quietly, "So. You are the one who will undergo the Ordeal. I wish you luck. You will need it." Syaoran looked at her incredulously. How did this old lady know his name? And what was the Ordeal?   
  
The old lady smiled mysteriously, and then, vanished. Into thin air. Gone like the wind. Syaoran blinked his eyes a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, and then noticed something left in his seat. It was the pendant of a wolf, its body made of black onyx that seemed to take in and glow with inner light. The ruby eyes glittered with magical fire, and for an instant, Syaoran thought that it had grinned at him! 'I must be seeing things.' On the delicate platinum chain the pendant hung from, words of protection and defense had been written. One of the phrases written on it was, 'Those who dare to harm the owner of the pendant, be warned, you may realize that you are no match for the forces that protect those who undergo the Ordeal. Harm the wearer, and you will not survive. This is a promise.' Words to ward away potential enemies. To protect and defend.   
  
Syaoran gazed down at the pendant warily. Looking at it through his //magic// sight, he saw no harm intended toward him, so decided to wear it. As he sat down in his seat to look at the sights through the window, the wolf's eyes glowed blood red, and the clasp of the chain fused, making sure the wearer could not take it off by magical or physical means. The wolf changed position, from sprawled on an imaginary ground, to howling at an imaginary moon. The world of magic knew now. The next magician had been chosen to face the Ordeal of the Lang.   
  
To Be Continued. . .   
  
[1] - The standard greeting to anybody. Like Hello? but instead Wei? for China.   
[2] - Han Feng mean Ice Wind in Mandarin Chinese. ^^; I felt I needed something different for the name of Syaoran's mom.   
[3] - Se le means Dead in Mandarin Chinese.   
[4] - Zai Jian is Good Bye in Mandarin Chinese.


	4. Chapter Three - . . . no matter how much...

Leaving You Behind   
By Magma   
  
A/N: This story is dedicated to my good friend, Lazy Lava. I actually completed 2 chapters in one day!:   
  
Disclaimer: See Prologue   
  
''= thoughts   
  
Chapter Three - . . . no matter how much you try to hide it. . .   
  
Syaoran stood in front of the place he had been dreading. His home. Its walls loomed up around him, seemingly higher and higher, until he was trapped like a bird in a cage, with no place to go. And then the ground came rushing back to him. The black iron doors with protective wards opened beckoningly, and taking a deep breath, Syaoran walked in.   
  
Red on black walls surrounded him, or was it black on red? Servants were everywhere, doing menial tasks, talking to each other about the recent death of Master Li. A portrait of the late Master Li was surrounded by black, and all the servants and family were wearing black shoulder ties, giving the whole mansion a feeling of death and despair[1].   
  
Syaoran wore one of these black ties also, on his left arm. In even darker black thread, it had the Li Clan's symbol embroidered onto it. A circle split into 4 sections, with the words, Fire, Wind, Water, and Earth in each section. And in the center, crossing over all 4, Soul. Syaoran turned around the corner, and as he was walking down the hall, he heard one of his sisters reciting a poem[2].   
  
There are no tears to be shed,   
for all the dead bodies of war.   
There are no people to hear,   
all the cries of the mourning.   
  
When people die,   
what do you feel?   
What do you say?   
Do you cry?   
  
Everything around me,   
everything I see,   
I grow to despise it,   
all this fakery.   
  
I want to cry. . .   
This world is falling apart at the seams.   
I want to die. . .   
All I see are broken dreams.   
  
How far have we fallen,   
to the depths of hell.   
All the dreams we have broken,   
never to be fufilled.   
  
People do not have enough tears to cry,   
for everyone who dies everyday.   
We only have enough tears to cry,   
for our loved ones, our friends, our family.   
  
Pain, hatred, deceit,   
all these I see.   
Where is the peace they tell of?   
Where can we be free?   
  
Everywhere I go,   
I see their faces.   
Everywhere I turn,   
things are in disgraces.   
  
We have fallen, far,   
never to see the light again.   
We have fallen, far,   
never to seek redemption.   
  
People die everyday.   
but who cries for them?   
  
No one.   
  
All I see is crying,   
over all the broken things.   
All I see is hate,   
for everything.   
  
Tears are falling from the skies,   
tears are falling from my eyes.   
Look around, see the lies,   
Look around, see the lines?   
  
Is this suffering?   
  
Why is this so?   
Why is there pain?   
Because pain cannot exist without bliss.   
Because peace cannot exist without war.   
  
They bind us together,   
whether we like it or not.   
See the wind,   
searching for the days long sought?   
  
Because life cannot exist without death.   
Because darkness cannot exist without light.   
And this is the world we live in,   
a contrast of everything we believe in.   
  
Is there any hope?   
  
Kyuukai?   
  
'A poem of despair. . .' Syaoran's sister, Mei Hua[3], turned to face him. Syaoran glanced over his sister, analyzing the changes. Her beautiful face was marred by tracks of tears, her eyes bloodshot. Her skin was an unhealthy pallor of white, and her body seemed thin and gaunt. Dark rings around her eyes told of her despair of her father's death, and the recitation of the depressing poem just served as proof. "Syaoran?" she whispered, her voice as quiet as a breeze in summer. She was too tired to speak in a normal tone of voice.   
  
"Yes?" he replied quietly, while sitting next to her on the edge of the marble fountain.   
  
"Look at the fountain," she commanded. He did. Carved from marble, enhanced with magic, it took in light and shown with that inner glow that drew one to look closer at it. Their father had made it when he was younger, as a present for their mother. It showed a black lotus, its petals unfurling to the sun, the center of the flower spouting out water. The water appeared black and murky, even though it was actually clear as crystal. The lotus changed colors depending on the mood of its surroundings. Black seemed fitting for the recent events. "Do you understand?"   
  
Syaoran shook his head. He didn't know. Mei Hua looked at him in that gentle way of hers, and told him, "Remember this. It will be important later. You will understand when the time comes." She then stood up, kissed him on the cheek, and started to walk back to her quarters. Over her shoulder, she said, "I have to go. Take care of yourself little brother." Syaoran just followed her image until she turned the corner to the West Wing of the mansion. She had left a flower on the rim of the fountain. Syaoran picked it up gently, twirling the stem by his fingers. It was an actual black lotus. And at the center of its petals, was a single blood drop.   
  
Syaoran trudged back to his quarters, holding the black lotus in one hand, his handbag in the other.   
Putting his handbag on the floor, he wove a spell of preservation around the black lotus, and laid it on his bed stand. Overcome with weariness, Syaoran feel asleep instantly, not bothering to change. The black lotus opened its petals a bit more, the blood drop in the center growing a tiny bit larger. Tomorrow, Syaoran would have to face what he dreaded most. His family. All of them. He didn't want to, but he had to.   
  
In Syaoran's mother's room, she unbound her long black hair, and looked at a picture of her only son. She smiled bitterly, and touched the picture with her right hand. She then sat down at her desk to write her will, proclaiming Syaoran as the heir to the Li Clan, and who in the family would get her belongings. She wrote a letter of regret to her daughters and son, tears blotting out parts of the words as she cried. And then she wove a spell of death, and killed herself, still crying. Only ashes remained. Only broken dreams.   
  
To Be Continued. . .   
  
[1] - It is traditional in China when someone dies in a family, that all members of that househole wear these black ties on the upper arm, below the shoulder. I shouldn't call them ties, but that's the only way to describe them. Some households cover the dead family member's portrait with black. Others don't. It depends. They do that for a year if they do hang black on the portrait. The household only wears the shoulder ties until the funeral is done.   
  
[2] - This is a combination of 4 poems I wrote, with a few changes.   
  
[3] - Mei Hua means Beautiful Flower in Mandarin Chinese. Should I change her name?   
  
End Notes: I have a soundtrack for this! ^^; Or sorts. Go to www.audiogalaxy.com if you like mp3s. All the songs below you can find on that site, but I really suggest you buy the cds. Angel Sanctuary - Sanctus. Ayumi Hamasaki - Endless Sorrow. Ayumi Hamasaki - Seasons. Ayumi Hamasaki - Trauma (Jam X and De Leons DuMonde Remix). Enya - Only Time. Gackt - Fragrance. Ghost In the Shell - Floating Museum. Macross Plus - Santi-U. Macross Plus - Torch Song. Macross Plus - Voices (Cello Version or Japanese Version). Noir - Premonition (Track 15 OST2 - by Yuki Kajiura). Rurouni Kenshin - The Wars of the Last Wolves. Rurouni Kenshin - Quiet Life. Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing - Last Impression. Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing - Rise From the Ashes. Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing - Sorrowful Memory. Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Kami no Namae wa Abraxas. Vampire Hunter D 2001 - Opening.


End file.
